All publications in this section in chronological order.

It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.
The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I.
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came.
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time ever
At milking a cow...

GOTCHAAAA................................HAHAHAHA...

So golf is supposedly a gentleman's game, eh?
Here we show you why the gentlemen really prefer golf!
The 10 things in golf that sound really, err, dirty!

1. Look at the size of his putter.

2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.

3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.

4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.

5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.

6. Lift your head and spread your legs.

7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.

8. Just turn your back and drop it.

9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls.

10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO ! "!!

TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !

************ *****
TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!

TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU!

************ *****
TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?
PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"

TEACHER : No, that's wrong
PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

************ *****
TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".
PAPPU : I is...

TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."
PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

************ *****
TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of " COINCIDENCE?"

PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

************ *****
TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"

PAPPU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"

************ *****
PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

************ *****
TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots !

PAPPU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.

************ *****
TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?

PAPPU: No sir, I don't have to , my mom is a good cook.

************ *****
TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as yourbrother's. Did you copy his ?

PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog !

************ ****
TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

PAPPU: A teacher

"Well, Bill," said God, "I'm really confused on this one. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell! After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in the world, and yet you created that infernal Windows. I'm going to do something I've never done before. I'm going to let you decide where you want to go!"

Mr. Gates replied, "Well, thanks, God. What's the difference between the two?"
God said, "You can take a peek at both places briefly if it will help you decide. Shall we look at Hell first?"
"Sure!" said Bill. "Let's go!"

Bill was amazed! He saw a clean, white sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, lying in the water,
laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was just perfect!!

Bill said, "This is great! If this is Hell, I can't wait to see Heaven!" To which God replied, "Let's go!" and off they went.

Up in Heaven, Bill saw puffy white clouds in a beautiful blue sky with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice, but surely not
as enticing as Hell. Mr. Gates thought for only a brief moment and rendered his decision.

"God, I do believe I would like to go to Hell."
"As you desire," said God.....

Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how things were going. He found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming among the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons.
"How ya doin,' Bill?" asked God.
Bill responded with anguish and despair. "This is awful! This is not what I expected at all! ....What happened to the beach and the beautiful women playing in the water?"

"Oh, THAT!" said God............. "That was the screen saver!"

• They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.
• This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.
• I was working smarter - not harder.
• Whew! I must have left the top off the whiteout.
• I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!
• This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!
• I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.
• I'm in the management training program.
• I'm actually doing a Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP). I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.
• This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!
• I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga?
• Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.
• The coffee machine is broken....
• Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot.
• Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off.
• Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!
• I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands.
• The mail courier flipped out and pulled a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot.

It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY has 365' days.

Typical academic year for a student:

1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.

3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE.
Days left 141.

4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days.
Days left 126.

5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing)means 30days.
Days left 96.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days.
Days left 81.

7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days.
Days left 46.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days.
Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness- at least 3 days.
Remaining days=3.

10. Movies and functions - at least 2 days.
1 day left.

11. That 1 day is your birthday. How can you study on that day??????!!!!!!!!!!
Balance = 0

"How can a student pass ???????????"

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, It's time to go to school!"

"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."

"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."

"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"

"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."

"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."

"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"

A student was writing home to his parents, trying to hint that he needed some money.....

Dear Father,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,
Your $on.

After receiving his son's letter, the father immediately replied with this letter:

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love,
Dad